I Live For Thee
by drakien
Summary: An accident leads to Beckett's discovery of Castle's new accessory. WARNING: Spoilers for S4 finale at the very end!


**Title:** I Live For Thee...

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** Man, I wish.

**A/N:** From a timeline POV, this takes place in Season 4, a few months before Castle overhears Beckett in the ill-fated interrogation. Spoilers at the end for the S4 finale.

* * *

"EW EW EW!" Castle exclaimed, pulling frantically at his shirt buttons.

Beckett couldn't blame him. They had been walking from her desk to the elevators, on their way out for the night, when one of the officers walked by with a woman wearing clothes that would fit in perfectly on a street corner. It was fairly obvious from the way her eyes remained unfocused and her stumbling gait that she was either _very_ drunk or high as a kite, too.

What none of them expected was for her to turn her head and vomit in the middle of the precinct… all over the front of Castle's shirt.

She completely understood his wanting to get out of the shirt as soon as possible, too… she'd dealt with plenty of gross things in homicide, and hardly even blinked at dismembered bodies anymore, but she _really_ hated vomit.

Grabbing his shoulder (which was blessedly vomit-free), she tugged him into the men's room as he worked down the row of buttons. Soap was definitely in order, as was the disposal of the shirt.

What a pity… it was one of her favorites.

There was a part of her that was disappointed to discover he was wearing another shirt underneath (a part that _completely_ drowned out the part of her that was wondering why she'd followed him into the men's room), but even she admitted that it wasn't much of one… the black sleeveless undershirt didn't do much to conceal anything. Why the hell did he hide those arms under dress shirts all the time?

God, she kind of wanted to bite them…

Giving herself a mental shake, she turned on the tap for him and watched in amusement as he shoved the offensive shirt in the garbage can and started soaping up to his elbows. Well… part of her was amused. Another part of her was watching the play of muscles as he spread the soap up and down his forearms.

But then she saw it, and everything else was driven from her mind… as he leaned forward to rinse off his sudsy arms, some sort of pendant slipped out from under his shirt. She was surprised that she hadn't noticed the chain before now; while it would have been hidden by his regular button-downs, it was clearly visible now that his shirt had been removed. She supposed his arms had been distracting her more than she'd realized.

From where she stood, the shape of the pendant looked sort of familiar… but… it couldn't be. Could it? She took a step closer, but Castle was too preoccupied with the soap to notice her movement, or notice her reaching out to touch it.

When she realized what it was, she jerked her hand back like she'd been burned. Her heartbeat sped up, and her chest twinged.

She must have made some sort of noise, because when he looked over and saw what had caught her attention, he inhaled sharply.

"Kate…," he began, but she held up a hand to cut him off.

"Is that…," she choked out.

"…the casing that was recovered from the cemetery, yes," he said quietly. "The boys got it for me when it was released from evidence. I have a friend who does metalwork, and specializes in custom jewelry. He did it for me over the summer." With a look in his eyes that she couldn't decipher, he slipped the chain over his head and offered it to her.

She cursed the fact that her hands shook slightly as she took it from him.

The bullet itself was missing (of course it was… it had been pulled out of her chest cavity), but it had been replaced by a polished piece of blue goldstone of the same shape.

The casing had been embellished with some additional brass scrollwork. Looking closer, Kate could see that they were actually flowers. And for all that the design wasn't even an inch long, she recognized each one there. Pear blossoms and coltsfoot were woven together with cedar leaves. Seeing them brought up long-forgotten memories of childhood summers with her mother, who loved flowers of all kinds and taught her daughter what they all meant… pear blossoms for health and hope, coltsfoot for justice, and cedar leaves…

"I live for thee," she breathed, looking up to meet his eyes. "The cedar leaves… that's what they mean."

He nodded wordlessly.

"What…" She shook her head, trying to clear it. "How long have you been wearing this?"

Castle looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. "Since he finished it… mid-July or so."

He took it from her numb fingers, looking it over. "For the life I almost lost," he said softly, and she could see how haunted he looked. Not glancing in her direction, he slipped the chain over his head again and tucked it back in his shirt before clearing his throat. "I'm going to head out. See you tomorrow?"

Ah, so now he was trying to pretend nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Too bad ignoring emotionally charged situations between them was _her_ area of expertise. And he wasn't getting off that easily. Before he could walk away, she reached out and wrapped a hand around his arm.

He stopped, but didn't turn around.

"Castle," she prompted, tugging his arm to try to get him to face her; he wouldn't move. She wasn't about to take 'no' for an answer, though, so she stepped around until they were face to face.

Her heels were shorter than normal today, so she kept one hand on his arm and placed the other one on his shoulder for balance. Slowly, purposefully, she rose up on her toes and ghosted her lips over his, reveling in his sharp intake of breath.

She sank back, keeping her eyes locked on his as she placed her hand over where the pendant rested on his chest.

"I'm still here," she told him softly. Closing her eyes briefly before opening them again, she swallowed back the lump in her throat. "And… I'm almost there."

His hand came up to cover hers, knowing exactly what she was referring to. Reaching out with his free hand, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know," he replied gently, with that certain something in his eyes that she'd been seeing for years; it wasn't until her shooting that she realized it was love. And it scared her less every time she saw it. "And when you get here, I'll be waiting," he promised.

* * *

** CASKETT ** CASKETT **

* * *

Months later, when she'd showed up at his door soaking wet after she'd finally figured out _exactly_ what she wanted, she saw the pendant for the second time. For the second time, he took it off and handed it to her.

This time, though, she set it aside and stepped into his arms; she vowed that he'd never need such a reminder again.


End file.
